This MEAP is really a winner in my book! It’s one of those things that is actually very simple to do and ends up paying HUGE dividends for those who take the time to do it.
When you are not in the midst of an argument, how hard is it to tell your spouse something nice about her? Something you appreciate about her or are thankful for… Contrasted with what we talked about in the last MEAP—i.e., saying too many things focused on ourselves—this MEAP is all about a word aptly spoken.
And as a man, let me just tell you ladies something you may not realize…
Men T-H-R-I-V-E on verbal affirmation. They really want you to tell them that you appreciate them, their hard work, and who they are as a person. Of course many men won’t tell you this (that whole macho thing), but rare is the male who doesn’t yearn for this type of affirmation in their marriage.
As I write this, it’s “tax season” here in the US – the time of year where you need to square up with the government (“Uncle Sam”) and either pay taxes owed or (hopefully) receive a refund back. At any rate, I was talking to my wife about TurboTax and what a wonderful help it is to me each year… To which she responded by saying, “Thank you for doing our taxes each year. It’s not something I worry about at all.”
Now, was this difficult for her to say to me? No. Did it take a long time, or require a great deal of effort? Again, the answer is no. But let me tell you, this (very) brief word of affirmation encouraged me immensely.
Let me leave you with a practical idea to get you going…Take a few minutes to write down 3 things you appreciate or admire about your spouse…These could either be things you’ve received direct benefit from, or they could be qualities true about your spouse that are admirable. Either way, don’t take a long time with this, but just write three of them down now…
Do you have them listed? Good… Now, make a commitment to yourself to tell your spouse at least one of these things in the coming week! You may be surprised at just how much you’ll be endearing yourself with this one little exercise…
Let’s keep going!