Want a sure way to make a good impression with someone you just met? Here’s a tip that works every time – Don’t talk about yourself! In fact, do the opposite – get the other person to talk about themselves.
How do you do this? Simple… Ask them questions about themselves!
Now, in the case of your spouse, you’ve already made an impression (good or bad!) on them. Likewise, you have your impressions formed about them and probably for a long time. So while this little tip is still applicable for married couples, it has a different effect…
There are two basic things that will happen if you start asking your spouse questions about themselves…
I’m not going to promise that you’ll be laughing and joking around at once, but at the same time the tone of your conversations can’t help but be more carefree as your spouse opens up about things they want to talk about.
Like we said before, human beings are intrinsically selfish. All of us are! And of course your spouse is familiar with your own selfishness…However because of the hurt that has taken place in your marriage, he or she probably has a distorted and bloated view of your selfishness (i.e., he [incorrectly] thinks that you are utterly and completely selfish and could care less about you)…
But as you continue to ask your spouse questions about themselves (starting with very simple questions such as, “How did everything go today?”, “How are you feeling today?”, etc.), soon your spouse will (almost subconsciously) realize that you really do care… That you’re not just interested in yourself.
After a while this realization can turn into rekindled emotions of love and affection…and eventually, complete reconciliation.